The Art of the Con Avoiding Offender Manipulation Book Buy
Guarding confronting manipulation is a critical skill that all corrections staff should accept, no matter if one is a sworn correctional officeholder, a substance abuse advisor or a volunteer inside a jail or prison house. Anyone who deals with inmates on a daily footing must understand the difference betwixt apathy, sympathy and empathy. Knowing what each is and how they can impact the job must be discussed.
The following is an excerpt from Chapter 3, How Inmates Practice Time, from my 2009 book, The Fine art of the Con: Fugitive Offender Manipulation, Second Edition, published by the American Correctional Association.
It is published here with the permission of the American Correctional Association.
Aloofness, Sympathy, and Empathy
Offenders like staff and volunteers who experience sympathy rather than empathy or apathy. Sympathy tin can be a convenient catchword when a probation officer says she feels sympathy for the offender who has several children, or the correctional officer who states that he sympathizes with the inmates on his post because jail is a horrible identify. Saying that you empathize with someone well-nigh their predicament is safer. However, to go a frame of reference, a correctional professional must know what each term means.
The dictionary defines aloofness as a "lack of emotion, a lack of interest, or indifference" (Webster's Ii New Riverside Dictionary 1996). In other words, a person who is apathetic does not care. An offender may run across an officer who simply informs him that he really is not interested in the offender's problems. Apathetic people are emotionally flat.
The dictionary defines sympathy as "mutual affection or agreement, the capacity to share another's feelings, a feeling of compassion of sorrow for another'south distress or loss" (Webster'southward Two New Riverside Dictionary 1996). The dictionary besides defines sympathy as a relationship between an private in which whatever affects 1 person affects the other person in a similar way. Sympathetic persons can readily pity others or feel pitiful for them.
The dictionary defines empathy equally understanding and identifying with the thoughts and feelings of another person (Webster's Ii New Riverside Dictionary 1996). Empathy means the person understands and identifies with the thoughts and feelings of another person. Empathy means that nosotros empathize the other's situation or feelings. The departure is that empathy is more objective, like taking a step dorsum and looking at the other's feelings and thoughts and thinking: "I understand the person."
Empathy means a shared understanding, experience, or vicarious feel of feelings, thoughts, and attitudes based on an intellectual or objective identification of what the other person is feeling. A smoker identifies with a nonsmoker, a hunter identifies with his or her quarry based on sameness of feeling, not pity nor compassion. Sympathy demonstrates a feeling without having the experience that induced the emotion. More than clearly, empathy allows a person to understand some other person's problems without feeling lamentable for him or her, while in sympathy ane feels compassion and distressing for the person without understanding the problem (Michigan Department of Corrections 1987, 188-190).
To illustrate these differences farther, [let's] visualize an employee in a correctional environment responding to an inmate's request for a special non collect phone call to his family unit. An apathetic person would say, "I don't care how y'all feel."
A sympathetic response would be, "I know how y'all feel." An empathetic employee would say, "I empathise how y'all feel." The critical question is, who is apathetic, sympathetic, and empathetic? (Manley 2007). In a correctional context, apathy, sympathy, and empathy tin can have consequences. Past the nature of correctional jobs, from officers to counselors to probation/parole officers, apathy does not fit in.
Correctional workers must intendance about the offenders in their custody or under their supervision. A lack of caring does not promote good interpersonal communications betwixt staff and offenders. Sympathy can lead to the offender trying to dispense the staff, using the angles of pity and sorrow. Empathy is the safest method: staff tin can understand the offender and his or her issues, from losing jobs to strain on the family unit, but are detached enough emotionally to be on guard.
Put the less objective aspect of sympathy together with a soft employee, and the door to manipulation opens. Consider this example. An inmate contacts his wife. Together they work out a plan to smuggle in drugs. The inmate, using patience and ingenuity, starts working on the soft volunteer who has been tutoring him for several months. The inmate tells the volunteer virtually the harshness of jail life—the crowded cellblock, fights, dissonance, odors, bad food, and so on.
After several tutoring sessions, he has the volunteer listening attentively and like-minded that life inside is bad. And then, the inmate starts lamenting the nutrient—it is ho-hum, it is the same. At the next session, he asks the volunteer if he could bring in a cookie—just ane! No one will know. The volunteer, knowing it is confronting policy to bring in food for inmates, agrees and brings in a cookie.
A few weeks later, the inmate complains about the awful coffee and juice that are served. Can the volunteer bring in a soda? He does. A few weeks afterwards, the inmate shows the volunteer a letter from his married woman — his immature daughters miss their daddy. The inmate cries and the volunteer thinks, "This poor guy! I know how I would feel."
Two weeks later, the inmate, bleary eyed and sad, asks the volunteer to bring in an envelope that his married woman volition give to the volunteer, containing a "Daddy, I Honey You" card made by his daughters. "Do not tell the officers," the inmate says. "In that location is no need to get through the mailroom officer. I told no one nigh the snacks and it is our clandestine!"
The volunteer does not see an inmate, but a homesick person who misses his married woman and children, an object of sympathy. The volunteer brings in the envelope, past the security procedures, and gives it to the inmate. As several inmates later bring together him in some drug usage, the inmate boasts about how he danced the soft volunteer around like a puppet on a string.
Author'due south note: Inmates are very good at "tugging at the heartstrings" to become their fashion. Be compassionate, not sympathetic!
About the author
Lt. Gary F. Cornelius retired in 2005 from the Fairfax Canton (VA) Office of the Sheriff, after serving over 27 years in the Fairfax Canton Adult Detention Center. His prior service in law enforcement included service in the United States Hush-hush Service Uniformed Division. His jail career included assignments in confinement, piece of work release, programs, planning/ policy and classification.
He has taught corrections courses for George Mason University since 1986. He also teaches corrections in service sessions throughout Virginia, and has performed grooming and consulting for the American Correctional Association, the American Jail Association and the National Found of Justice. His latest volume, The Correctional Officer: A Applied Guide: Third Edition will be published after this twelvemonth by Carolina Academic Press. He has authored several other books about corrections including The American Jail: Cornerstone of Modern Corrections, 2008 from Pearson Prentice Hall, The Fine art of the Con: Avoiding Offender Manipulation, Second Edition, 2009, and Stressed Out: Strategies for Living and Working in Corrections, Second Edition, 2005, both bachelor from the American Correctional Association.
Gary received a Distinguished Alumnus Award in Social Science from his alma mater, Edinboro University of Pennsylvania and an Instructor Appreciation Honour from George Mason University. He is an independent freelance correctional author and trainer. Gary serves on the Board of Directors of the International Association of Correctional Training Personnel (IACTP) representing local developed corrections. He tin be reached at 571-233-0912 or at adjinstructor@hotmail.com.
Source: https://www.corrections1.com/corrections-training/articles/book-excerpt-the-art-of-the-con-avoiding-offender-manipulation-second-edition-TupWRMnChisyLvkR/
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